wife. mother. ninja.

2007-06-20T09:24:00.000-04:00

Are you looking for Gigi/Jenn? Please go to:

www.materfacit.wordpress.com

Pack Your Bags

2007-03-14T09:01:00.000-04:00

Hello, Everyone. For the past few days, I've been hard at work on my new blog. That's right, my new blog. It will be a lot like this one, but better. I'm using Wordpress, which I can't say enough awesome things about. Also, over at the new blog, I am no longer Gigi Frankenstein, I am... ME! Would you like to find out who I am? Adjust your links and bookmarks, and come on over.

www.materfacit.wordpress.com

It's Okay, Kids. I Feel the Same Way.

2007-03-08T08:37:00.000-05:00

Found this great picture of Mitch Daniels on the Herald-Times today. Mitch is a scary douchebag, and apparently these kids think so, too. Look, one kid is hiding in his shirt and another is baring her teeth. Oh, the humanity!

Knock Knock

2007-03-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

My kids were telling jokes in the car this morning. They don't really understand the concept of punchlines. Or making sense. But still.

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bo."
"Bo who?"
"Bo girl."

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Jeep."
"Jeep who?"
"Jeep my name is Lisa."

I'm Not Going to Make this Post Sound Like You Died

2007-03-02T08:43:00.000-05:00

This is one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world, Lori. Tomorrow morning, she and her dude are moving to Seattle. Well, okay, not really Seattle, more like Tacoma. Whatever.

Anyway, the point is that she's moving very far away and she's embarking on a huge adventure. She's never been in a plane before, she doesn't have a job yet, and she's not taking any of her furniture or large personal possessions. SHE'S NEVER EVEN BEEN TO SEATTLE BEFORE!

But she's going to do it. And, knowing Lori, she's going to do it well. As much as I'm going to miss her (like crazy), I'm so very happy for her.

Be careful out there, Vagenius. I love you.

Overheard

2007-02-28T08:40:00.000-05:00

Overheard between my daughters at the dinner table:

"Excuse me."

"For what? What'd you do?"

"I farted."

"You did?"

"Three times."

Memory #472

2007-02-27T09:58:00.000-05:00

I am in fourth grade, in a "gifted and talented (GT for short)" class. During a critical thinking exercise, the teacher asks us the question, "Which weighs more - a pound of gold or a pound of feathers?" Immediately, I respond with the gold. I'm not the only one who says this, but the teacher then asks us to really think about it, "Are you sure?"

Then it hits me - duh. A pound is a pound. They weigh the same, and I am really embarrassed.

My Thoughts on the Oscars

2007-02-26T12:07:00.000-05:00

I know little and care even less about what happens in Hollywoodland these days. But because Manny asked and because I actually had seen some of the nominated films within the past year, I agreed to go the Cinemat and watch the Oscars last night. I had a surprisingly good time, and even won second place on a ballot contest (Manny won first).

Without further adieu, here are my thoughts on the 79th Annual Academy Awards.

Ellen was an excellent presenter. She was just amusing enough without being obnoxious. Yay, Ellen!

I thoroughly enjoyed the sound effects choir and the weird dance troupe.

Hooray to some of my favorites that won awards: An Inconvenient Truth, Pan's Labyrinth, The Departed, and Little Miss Sunshine.

I was disappointed, but not surprised, that Al Gore didn't announce his candidacy for president. I was just happy to see Al Gore.

I was also happy to see Catherine Deneuve. Yay, Catherine Deneuve!

Wow, Peter O'Toole is old.

Hey, look! It's George Lucas!

Clint Eastwood's translation of Ennio Morricone's speech was painful.

Gwyneth Paltrow, Penélope Cruz, Rachel Weisz, and Helen Mirren all looked beautiful, Kirsten Dunst should have stayed at home, Reese Witherspoon still looks like a troll, and I think someone slipped Maggie Gyllenhaal some 'ludes.

Great Things of the Week

2007-02-22T15:04:00.000-05:00

Wee Hairy Beasties. Kid's music that doesn't suck, mostly because it's done by old school punk rockers. My girls love it, and frankly, so do I. My favorite song is "Cyril the Karaoke Squirrel," which includes a line about rabies.

Quitting MySpace. I swear to you, it was so very liberating. And no, I don't miss it. Really.

Our new widescreen flat panel monitor. It's like having another TV, but one that is HOOKED UP TO THE INTERWEBS. It's going to revolutionize our lives.

My $25 badass Schwinn bicycle (thank you, Lori) that will help me have fun, save the planet, and lose my winter cookie weight all at the same time.

Lemon-poppyseed bread. I love baking. So much for losing weight.

Manny. Not a thing, per se, but still very great. Thank you, for everything. You don't know how much it means.

Bulimics 4 Jesus

2007-02-21T10:24:00.000-05:00

I was listening to NPR this morning on the way to work, and there was a bit being done about the importance of the religious affiliation of presidential candidates. During this, an interview was being conducted with a woman who was part some social club for Christian women who believe in beautifying themselves from the inside out. She actually used the phrase, "we want to be supermodels for Christ."

Die, Die My Darlings

2007-02-17T16:33:00.000-05:00

I'm off to a late start, therefore missing Anna Nicole (damn her, she's been on my list for the past two years!) and Barbaro, but here it is...

Gigi Frankenstein's 2007 Dead Pool

20. Fidel Castro
19. Ariel Sharon
18. Tammy Faye (Bakker) Messner
17. Ernest Borgnine
16. Brooke Astor
15. Olivia DeHavilland
14. Eli Wallach
13. Lady Bird Johnson
12. Kirk Douglas
11. Les Paul
10. Billy Graham
9. “Rowdy”Roddy Piper
8. Abe Vigoda
7. Oral Roberts
6. Louis Farrakhan
5. Sherwood Schwartz
4. Pete "Human Trainwreck"Doherty
3. Nancy Reagan
2. Dick Clark

1. Britney "Pete Doherty" Spears

Something New.

2007-02-14T13:15:00.000-05:00

I've created a new "about Gigi" sideblog - it's linked to in the sidebar, and you can also go to it here.

There's also my other sideblog, Random Factoids and Lists, which gets updated when I feel like it.

The Reason I Came Home Early

2007-02-13T15:44:00.000-05:00

The Best Things

2007-02-12T10:16:00.000-05:00

I had an excellent weekend, and it's been a while since I could say that.

Went to Talbott Street to see the Crüxshadows on Friday night. Nothing says "gay bar" like "goth band." Or is it the other way around? Either way, the show was fun (even if it was in a teeny space), and the occasional drag queen walking through made the night even more fabulous.

Slept in on Saturday. Bought a black dress with little pink polka-dots. Worked, briefly. Went home, got all sexified (aforementioned dress, stockings, heels, fucking hot pink lipstick). Manny and I went out for Valentine's Day dinner at Grazie. After dinner, we went home to cozy up and watch Where the Truth Lies, which was seriously awesome. I also discovered one of the best things in life: leaving the house to get Starbucks all whilst wearing pajamas and slippers and never actually going outside into the cold.

Sunday, we got up early to have breakfast at the Uptown and watch the Arsenal vs. Wigan soccer match. Manny's developing his fandom for UK Football, and since I have a touch of the Anglophilia myself, I'll gladly go along. After that, we came home and I was hit with cleaning fever. I spent the rest of the day cleaning out the hall closet and garage, which was no small undertaking. I love the feeling of accomplishment.

The Kid

2007-02-07T16:06:00.000-05:00

Kitten starts gymnastics class tonight. Or, as she calls it, "gymtaskits." She is very excited, even though she can't wear a skirt.

The other day, as I was getting her ready in the morning, she said to me, completely out of the blue, "Mommy... you're a good mommy." Yes, I melted. I turned into a little puddle of mom.

She's also been copping some serious attitude with me lately, saying things like "Whatever, MOM," and "Just LEAVE ME ALONE!" Did I miss something? Did ten years go by and I not realize it yet? If so, my, she's awfully short. Perhaps I should take her to a doctor.

Pictures From My Trip

2007-02-05T11:59:00.000-05:00

(this one's for Corinna)

Still Grown Up, but That's Not All

2007-02-02T21:39:00.000-05:00

No, you're not hallucinating - the blog has a new look.

Being completely anal, as I am, I had to change the blog title to match the URL. Because I am weird. And maybe not as grown up as I should be touting.

So, friends - if you've linked to me and called the blog "All Grown Up," please adjust your television sets to "Wife. Mother. Ninja," or something similar.

This Week's Rants

2007-02-02T12:51:00.000-05:00

I'll be glad when this weekend is over. I want to avoid all facilities and people promoting or talking about the Super Bowl, which means I should just probably stay inside all weekend. Here's what I find even more ridiculous, though: the NFL trying to shut down a church's Super Bowl party. Seriously? I could care less what the NFL does, but what blows my mind is that a church (and not just the one mentioned in the article - there are probably hundreds more across the nation doing the same thing) is having a Super Bowl party. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Here's a story from CNN exhibiting pure, unexpected revelation: humans are now officially "very likely" the cause of global warming. No shit? Why would this come as a surprise? You don't think it has anything to do with our hyper-industrialized culture and constant burning of fossil fuels, do you? What, did these people think there was a chance it might just be caused by the methane emitted from cows?

In other news, the government wants more money for the War in Iraq. Oh, wait. That's not news.

By the way, Slayer is playing in Indy on Sunday. Ha ha. Slayer.

Happy Friday.

Sinking the Unsinkable

2007-01-31T21:40:00.000-05:00

Molly Ivins
1944-2007

The eloquent, articulate, fiery, and overall amazing political columnist Molly Ivins lost her fight with breast cancer today.

I loved reading Molly's articles and agreed with her on nearly everything she wrote. She was passionate and intelligent and saw through all the bullshit. Her articles always stirred me, and by the time I'd finish reading one, I'd want to jump out of my seat, throw my fists in the air, and shout out loud, "YEAH!"

I'm going to miss her.

A fitting tribute to her can be found here.

Sick Of Hearing About It

2007-01-30T08:27:00.000-05:00

the Indianapolis Colts

Tyra Banks' weight gain

iPhone

Dreamgirls

Wii

the Oscars

Dakota Fanning

Condensed and Abridged With Nutritional Annotations

2007-01-29T10:20:00.000-05:00

I'm back from my trip. Here's what I did and the food I ate while I did it.

Monday: Drove five hours to Chicago. Ate delicious chopped salad. Karaoked at a gay bar - sang "Common People" by Pulp and "Joey" by Concrete Blonde. Smoked too much and stayed out too late but had a fabulous time. Tuesday: Woke up early, went to airport. Smooth, uncrowded, pleasant flight to Newark. Felt like I was going to die, though, from lack of sleep and food. Auntie J picked me up and took me to her house. Napped, went to lunch (mmm... spinach and onion frittata), napped more, went to dinner. Best bruschetta I have ever had in my life, followed by almond cake with raspberry sauce. Oh my god. Back to Auntie J's house where the whole family gathered 'round and watched President Douchebag give the State of the Union address. Boooo. Wednesday: Slept in (flannel sheets!). Took train to NY with Auntie J. Muffin and coffee at Penn Station. I love New York. Rode the wooden escalator in Macy's. Waited in line outside The Daily Show's studio for two hours. In the cold. Had in-depth conversation with Auntie J about our deep, dark family secrets. Taping of show was awesome - Jon Stewart is lovely and charming, but very short. Very interesting to see how show is taped - lots of cameras moving constantly. Scott McClellan was special guest. After show, went out for beer and burgers. Mmmm. Went home and re-watched the show on TV. Surreal. Thursday: Woke up early, dressed in multiple layers. Took train to Manhattan all by myself. Rode subway to Greenwich Village. Breakfast at diner (bagel, coffee). Tried to figure out where the fuck I was in relation to where I wanted to be (was difficult as I didn't really know where it was I wanted to be). Walked, walked, walked. Went to Andy's Chee-Pees (great vintage store) where things were no longer cheap. $75 for a shitty Fleetwood Mac concert tee? No way. Walked, walked, walked around NYU campus. Pretended I was a student. Went to little store and bought an Ugly Doll for K. Walked, walked, walked. Was cold and exhausted so I stopped to see a movie. Didn't care what was playing. Paid $11 to see a Romanian movie about a dying old man. Actually got into it, despite the fact that I am neither old nor directly a Romanian. After movie, took subway uptown to Rockefeller Center - wanted to take some touristy pictures. Walked, walked, walked. Realized camera was malfunctioning and it was getting late. Got lost some more, made it back to Penn Station and back on the train. Made it back to Auntie J's house and then she took me over to Auntie S's house. Broccoli soup, good bread, more almond cake. Hung out with my cousin Em, read some of The History of Love. Friday: Aunties took me to airport. Was sad to leave New Jersey. Plane was crowded and noisy. Made it to Chicago, had Steak 'n' Shake with Dale and Will. Drove five hours in crazy wind. Was happy to be home again.

Pictures to come soon.

Heading to the Garden State

2007-01-22T13:57:00.000-05:00

All right, kids - heading off on my vacation to luxurious New Jersey. I'll be back next week. I'll check in periodically while I'm gone - but not too much. This is a vacation, after all.

Have a good week and don't throw too many wild parties.

xoxo,
gigi

Friday Five

2007-01-19T09:19:00.000-05:00

Happy Friday.

1. What are your siblings' names? Do your names have a theme?
Mark, Lisa, and Stuart. The theme here was "random names my mom liked."
2. What are your pets' names?
Well, I don't currently have any pets, but pet names from the past... Blackberry, Smokey, Pickles, Sable, Daisy, Willow, Reba, Sibyl, Blacknose, Colombo (cats); Cecelia, Socrates (fish); Cocobelle, Roxanne, Bowie (hamsters); Tyson (cockatiel); and Fritz (the only dog).
3. Do you give pet/nick names to your car (or other large possession)?
No way.
4. What meaning does your surname have?
My married surname is English/Scottish. My maiden surname is English. Booooring.
5. If you could name your own country or island, what would you call it?
"Over There."

The Best List

2007-01-18T11:32:00.000-05:00

As some of you know, there is one thing I have a true passion for collecting: found scraps of paper - particularly shopping lists. I love and keep them all. This may be my favorite, though. Just in case you can't decipher the handwriting through the scratches, it reads:

Polygrip

Beer

Cigs

Peanuts

Coffee

I picture someone's smoky, hardassed old grandpappy scrawling this list and tucking it in the pocket of his thin, plaid cotton shirt with the shiny snap-buttons before he drove his rusty (but trusty) Ford pickup to the store.

In One Week

2007-01-15T08:43:00.000-05:00

Some people vacation on sunny beaches. Some people vacation by staying home and watching Oprah. One week from today, I will be embarking on a strange little Gigi vacation. I am going to drive by myself to Chicago to have dinner and enjoy some gay karaoke with my dear friend D. The next morning, he is going to drive me to the airport at an obscenely early hour so I can catch my flight to Newark. That's right, I'm vacationing in luxurious New Jersey.

Jersey and I go way back. I've never lived there myself, but I've come pretty damn close (I almost went to Rutgers!), and I don't think I'd complain if I did. I've had family living there as long as I can remember, and it always feels like home.

I'll be staying with my two aunts, respectively, until I fly home on Friday. Wednesday evening, my cousin Em and I are taking the train into New York to see a taping of The Daily Show, which should be totally fucking awesome, considering how much we both love Jon Stewart. Thursday, I'll be going back to NY on my own to one of the happiest places on earth, the MoMa, and also to just generally explore the city on my own, since I haven't been there in four years. I'm sure I'll find something to do.

Argh.

2007-01-12T09:24:00.000-05:00

I've taken the day off to watch Mallrats, eat Moroccan food, get my hair cut, play around with my keyboard, wash clothes, mess with my blog, and play loud music in my house.

I was going to post more, but apparently Blogger and Firefox hate each other. I'm too frustrated now and have nothing more to say.

Happy Friday.

Look What I Found

2007-01-11T10:53:00.000-05:00

So I was doing a Google image search for the word "boring," and I came across this great picture of Gwyneth Paltrow. I have no idea when it was taken, but she looks totally sexy in a mid- to late-nineties kind of way. I love it.

And yes, you read that right, I was GISing "boring."

I swear I'll post more tomorrow. I'm busy listening to "Joey" by Concrete Blonde right now.

Ask Me What I Did Last Night

2007-01-08T09:50:00.000-05:00

Because the answer is: I named my tits "The Captain" and "Tennille." And then I named Manny's balls "Hall" and "Oates."

I Still Reserve the Right to Sit Around and Do Nothing, Though.

2007-01-05T10:08:00.000-05:00

I have an old friend who is one of the most free-spirited, most alive people I have ever met. She has been this way as long as I have known her. She goes places and does things and lives her life being completely true to herself in the most unabashed and unapologetic way. I have always been jealous of her vibrance and beauty, but now I'm learning to take inspiration from it.

My resolution for 2007 (and pretty much from now on) is simply to live. This sounds hokey, I know, but it's so vague and broad that I think it may actually work. There are so many things I want to do and experience and learn. There are so many places I want to go and see. I don't want these to be just fleeting ideas, I want to act on them. If I think to myself one day that I'd like to learn ballroom dancing or see geysers in Iceland or audition for Jeopardy!, I don't want to dismiss it - I want to think "Why not?" Of course I can't do everything all at once, and of course there is always the beauty and comfort of everyday life.

I've just been giving more consideration to the fact that this is the only life I have. It's the only chance I've got, and I don't want to fuck it up.

Revelation

2007-01-04T10:57:00.000-05:00

I have seen Disney's The Little Mermaid approximately 527 times since its release in 1989, when I was 6. It was my favorite childhood movie and probably still my favorite classic Disney movie. I have the entire movie memorized still, to this day. It made such an impact on me at the time that, for an alarmingly long time considering my age, I wanted to be a mermaid and firmly believed in their existence.

Anyway, when it was released to DVD this past fall, I immediately bought it so I could share the magic with the girls. They loved it and, filling me with pride, exclaimed that they, too, wanted to be mermaids! We've sinced watched this movie many, many times, one of which being last night.

While watching the scenes after Ariel is transformed into a human and has three days to convince Prince Eric that she is his "mystery maiden," something dawned on me for the first time in 18 years. Why didn't she just write it down? She obviously knew how to write, because she signed her name on the contract with Ursula. Is that all she knew how to write?

It really bothers me that it took me so long to realize this.

The Michael Landon

2007-01-02T11:21:00.000-05:00

UPDATED!

The recipe for quite possibly the most delicious late-night snack of all time, as requested by the lovely Stacey:

crumbled caramel rice cake pieces, microwaved for exactly 12 seconds

scoop of Breyer's natural vanilla ice cream

drizzle honey over ice cream/rice cake pieces

sprinkle cinnamon-sugar mixture over everything

I swear to you it will not disappoint. But don't eat too much or your head will explode.

(note: the name "Michael Landon" has nothing to do with Little House on the Prairie, but serves rather as a retort to the "Robert Redford" dessert)

UPDATE: Rilah requested to know more about the Robert Redford dessert, so here is a link. I forgot that this particular dish is pretty much a Midwest-US thing!

What Happened?

2006-12-30T17:03:00.000-05:00

2006
Got married
Got a new car
Rilah had Zoe
Aughra had Rock
Cut all my hair off
Discovered Netflix
Saw Dresden Dolls
Saw Gogol Bordello
Got my nose pierced
Had choking disorder
Gave up on Christmas
Attempted vegetarianism
Volunteered at Lotus Fest
C-Rex started kindergarten
Corinna & Adam got married
Dealt with my jealousy demons
Wrecked my car, got a new one
Moved into wonderful new house
Got on medication, then gave it up
Discovered Manny has one kidney
Lost fifteen pounds, gained five back
Invented the Michael Landon dessert
Made ladybug cake for Kitten’s birthday
Aced my community college design class
Watched the final World Cup Soccer game

Up Against the Wall

2006-12-29T09:03:00.000-05:00

It's an end-of-the-year-meme quickie. There will be a more comprehensive end-of-the-year post this weekend, so check back, will ya?

r e s o l v e
In the new year...
1. One person you want to reconnect with:
My high school friend "German" Jenny Gerull.
2. Two places you want to go:
NYC and Vancouver.
3. Three habits you want to change:
Biting my cuticles, shopping compulsively, starting books without finishing them.
4. Four skills you hope to learn:
Sewing, effectively controlling my anger/bad moods without chemicals, gardening, how to play Scrabble.
5. Five goals you would like to achieve:
I would like to organize my finances and house, cook new things, start my "journal of lists," make more collages, and find alternative plans for Christmas.

A Fireball Destroyed France Today...

2006-12-27T09:22:00.000-05:00

" ... and Gerald Ford is dead."

"Gerald Ford dead today, from an overdose of crack cocaine."

"Tragedy today, as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves. He was delicious."

"Stunning news from Yorba Linda today, as Richard Nixon's corpse climbed out of his grave and strangled Gerald Ford to death."

You may have been ten years early, Saturday Night Live, but you're being put to good use today.

Rest in peace, Gerald Ford.

Thank God That's Over.

2006-12-25T21:42:00.000-05:00

If I could sum up the way Christmas has left me feeling in one image, it would be this one:

It's Beginning to Feel a Little Bit More Like Christmas

2006-12-24T15:55:00.000-05:00

I feel a bit better now than I did when I last posted. Within the past 48 hours, I have gotten paid, finished my Christmas shopping, got some nice presents from some nice people, crawled through a bathroom window during a lockout, ate some tasty Moroccan food, went to an empty bar with two of my bestest friends to drink and play dirty MadLibs, listened to Christmas music played in minor key, made biscuits and gravy, gone tanning, done laundry, wrapped gifts, and vacuumed. These things have all made me feel much more human.

Now all I have to do is shower and I'll be set.

Something is Amiss

2006-12-20T09:27:00.000-05:00

Christmas is five days away, and I don't know if it's possible for me to feel any less of the holiday spirit than I do now.

I have never really had problems with getting into the holidays. I've always loved all the hoopla and hustle and bustle and nostalgia and warmth. But this year, something feels terribly hollow and void. I feel like Christmas could come and go with absolutely no recognition and I wouldn't miss a thing. This makes me sad. I don't know what's wrong. I feel like completely breaking down but my eyes won't even start to tear up.

When I was nine years old, my grandmother died a week short of Christmas. She was the reason I had such a happy, spoiled childhood. Christmas was always my favorite time of the year, and she was the one who made it magical. We tried to keep it going without her, but it just wasn't the same. It's this time of year I miss her most. I wish she was here. I wish that a lot of the time, really.

Anyway, this isn't a post about my dead grandmother. I'm just trying to get past this terribly empty feeling. It has a lot to do with my financial situation (shitty) and the state of the world (even shittier). It can also be attributed to the weather (unseasonably, annoyingly warm) and my medication (sometimes makes me feel kind of numb). I don't even want much for Christmas - it's been the first year I didn't actually make a list. But if I were to make one, make an honest list of what I'd want if anything were possible, this would be it:

freedom from debt and bills
the ability to feel happy again
my grandmother (but not as a zombie)
eradication of my bodily hangups
a studio full of windows
social welfare reform
a new digital camera
perfect eyesight
more patience
a bicycle
scrabble
a cello
a cat

Year-End Thievery

2006-12-19T10:22:00.000-05:00

Stolen from Rilah, who, of course, stole it from Binsk.

All Grown Up in 2006
(title of first post for each month)

JANUARY:
It's a Brand New Year!
FEBRUARY:
My Near-Vegetarian Experience
MARCH:
Bulbous Humor
APRIL:
I Stumbled Across This in the Grocery Store
MAY:
Signs
JUNE:
Pardon My Unblogginess
JULY:
Alphabet Soup
AUGUST:
Turn On Your Heartlight
SEPTEMBER:
I Love September
OCTOBER:
Going Out With a Blarrrgghhh
NOVEMBER:
I'm Sorry, Your Plan is Backfiring
DECEMBER:
Get Back on the Horse

Brief Notes from the Weekend

2006-12-18T11:01:00.000-05:00

This is my new favorite picture. It's a graffiti tooth.

When I was in Chicago, I...

stayed in a hotel with a painted cow statue in the lobby.

overheard a homeless man have a seizure in the street below our room window.

forgot my coat.

just barely made it to the Gogol show because we were running "fashionably late."

was given generous doses of whiskey by the bartenders.

danced. my. ass. off.

went walking by myself around Lincoln Park. it was beautiful until...

got lost and took a cab back to the hotel.

had the best complimentary breakfast ever.

watched the food network.

grossed my companions out with sweet potato fries. twice.

bought a new coat.

burned my mouth with a habanero pepper.

Bordello Kinda Gal

2006-12-15T09:23:00.000-05:00

A Friday Haiku:
Gonna see Gogol
Bordello in Chicago
Tonight, yeah, tonight!

Only two and a half more hours of work and then Lori, Dorge, and I are headed to Chi-town to see Gogol Bordello and some Viking rock band (Valiant Thor?) at the Metro tonight. I can wait to get to a big city. I'm a big city kinda gal.

A quick meme and then back to work! This week's theme: Stress
1. What stresses you out?
having no money, kids going crazy, deadlines, politics

2. How well do you cope with stress?
better now than I used to, thanks to the meds. before, I used to have freakouts and throw things. not good.

3. What techniques do you use to relieve stress?
the very best thing for me is to go out by myself in my car and drive with very loud music and sing at the top of my lungs.

4. When was the last time you did something for yourself to relax?
it doesn't take much to relax me, so I can do it pretty often. if I just stop and lay down for a minute or two, or stretch out on the couch and read, that really helps.

5. What is your favorite comfort food?
cereal!

Sad News

2006-12-13T11:56:00.000-05:00

Peter Boyle
1935-2006

I just learned that Peter Boyle died yesterday in New York. He was a wonderful actor (even though I was never an Everybody Loves Raymond fan), whom I particularly loved in While You Were Sleeping and, of course, Young Frankenstein. Strangely, he briefly appeared in a recent dream I had. Rest in peace, Peter.

It's Wednesday. Still.

2006-12-13T11:32:00.000-05:00

I have a headache and I'm PMSing, but I feel compelled to blog...

I just finished addressing all my Christmas cards. Now I just have to actually mail them, which is a bigger challenge than you may think. I have to actually go to the post office to do this because of -ahem- certain Canadiennes who require more postage. But they're worth it!

Only two days until my trip to Chicago with Lori and Dorge. We are going to see Gogol Bordello. Lori and I are going to wear suspenders. It is going to be a fabulous time.

I am making more cookies tonight.

Manny was loving on me the other night and started talking like the Swedish Chef from the Muppets. It was both hilarious and disturbing at the same time.

We watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan last night.

It is nearly 60 degrees here and I hate it. I want it to snow.

This morning on the way to school, C-Rex announced that when she grows up, she is going to be a lifeguard and a nurse. Kitten said she wanted to be a "ballerine."

Weekendish

2006-12-11T10:30:00.000-05:00

Friday:
Manny and I watched Saw, which I found surprisingly enjoyable. Surprisingly really enjoyable, actually, except for that damn Cary Elwes. I can't stand him. He's 75% of the reason that I have never liked The Princess Bride. Then we drank all our whiskey and listened to Lou Reed and loved on the couch and I mumbled a lot and then I passed out.

Saturday:
Went with Lori and George to Ladyman's Cafe for the last time. It's a local diner that's been around for fifty years and recently got bought out as part of the renovation scheme that's taking over downtown Bloomington. It really sucks because all these great old places full of history and character that have been around for ages are disappearing and big, unnecessary offices are replacing them. Later in the evening, Manny and I went to see The Fountain. It was an unbelievably beautiful, moving, amazing movie. I love Aronofsky's films, and I think this is my favorite. Everything about it - the acting, the cinematography, the music - was completely exquisite. Unfortunately, as any of you who are my MySpace friends may have read, we were in a theater completely surrounded by obnoxious, immature assholes. It's one thing to be loud and silly and bring beer to a movie. But for fuck's sake - do that shit at something worthless, like Van Wilder or Turistas.

Sunday:
Spent the day with Lori at her parents' house for the annual Cookie Baking Day. I got introduced to this tradition last year, and it was so much damn fun that I had to come back. It's not often that I get to wear an apron and make cookies in the shape of bicycles and dachshunds and aging transvestites (that last part is an inside, albeit true, joke).

Kick the Habit, Baby

2006-12-08T10:08:00.000-05:00

Lately in my house, we've been waging what will eventually be known as "The Battle of the Skirt." It is a tiresome but predictable battle, frought with outbursts of tears and incomprehensible frustration. Why we are waging this battle, I do not know. I don't know what started it, but I hope it ends soon so I can start to find it more amusing.

Although she isn't much of a delicate child, Kitten has always been fond of girly clothing. However, as of late, she has developed a full-blown obsession with them. Particularly skirts. She must be wearing a skirt at all times. She wants nothing to do with pants - the mere mention of anything with two cloth legs causes her to hyperventilate. She points out skirts on others. She talks about skirts constantly. She wants to change skirts two or three times a day, which gets difficult because she only has three of them.

Monday night I found myself cutting a pair of pajama shorts into a skirt because she insisted on sleeping in a skirt. Tuesday evening, she was talking about what she wanted for Christmas. She could only think of one thing: roller skates. I was amazed, and thought for sure she was only going to say she wanted skirts.

"Really?" I said, "Roller skates? That's what you want?"

"Yeah!" she replied. "So I can roller skate! And wear a SKIRT!"

Of course.

The Most Beautiful Noise

2006-12-05T10:23:00.000-05:00

The most beautiful noise I have heard lately is that made by Joanna Newsom. Her music is so ethereal that it puts me in a trance. I can't explain it any better than that. Just trust me and listen.

From Whose Loins I Sprang

2006-12-04T11:01:00.000-05:00

Today is my mother's birthday, and my father's birthday was last week.

They don't read my blog, and to my knowledge, they are not aware of its existence. This is probably a good thing. They might be sent into shock by some of the stuff they would read. Well, my mom. Probably not so much my dad.

I am the eldest of four, so I was sort of the experimental child, the one to go through everything first. My parents are wonderful people with the best of intentions, and I love them dearly, but I know I have turned out nothing like they planned. That's life, though - right?

My parents are good Christians and conservative in their political views, which immediately makes the fact that I am their daughter even more amusing. While I could have been much worse, I was a bit of a hellion as a youngster. They never had to bail me out of jail (because I sweet-talked my way out of going, thank you), but they stayed up worrying about me many a night. I still am a lot like both of them in many ways - I have my mother's occasional domestic tendencies and appreciation for art, and I owe my love of trivia, pop culture, history, and all things Billy Joel to my dad. They gave me a good platform from which to jump beyond myself, and I love them eternally for that.

Happy Birthday, Mom and Dad.

Better

2006-12-04T10:56:00.000-05:00

This weekend, I made a collage and played the piano and had sex and listened to good music and drove around and slept a lot and did laundry and watched Spinal Tap and got drunk and sang karaoke and ate pizza and was told I had beautiful hair by a stranger and I feel so much better now.

Get Back on the Horse.

2006-12-01T09:41:00.000-05:00

I am sort-of recovering from my sickness. I still hack up a fucking lung in the morning... it's gross, but I feel better afterward. Manny is still in the depths of illness, though - poor dude. I don't know what this is (avian flu?) but it's no fun.

It's the first day of December, and the weather around here has finally realized it. It's chilly and blustery and cold precipitation is swirling around in the sky. I am so relieved. I am not a fan of warm weather, especially not when it should be the opposite.

I've been in a bit of an emotional funk lately... which is another part of why I've not been blogging as usual. A lot of the time it's easier to write about random bullshit, take silly surveys, post odd photos, and bitch about the government than it is to actually sit down and focus on what's going on in my head. I don't like confrontation - but most of all, I don't like confrontation with myself. But much like violently couging up my insides in the morning, I feel better after that, too.

Let me preface this by saying that I do, very much, love my life. I'm lucky as hell to have the people around that I do. Manny, by no means, was ever obliged to stick around. We have had our rough patches, and sweet baby jesus were they rough. But we came out of them stronger and better. He is very patient with me and puts up with my craziness and he lets me be myself, even when he doesn't agree with me (like about belts and gypsy music). My kids are great, too - they never cease to blow me away with how incredibly smart they are. What I wouldn't give to look inside their heads and see the world the way they do. They try me, of course, because I have control and patience issues, but all that is forgotten with every sticky kiss and "look what I drew for you: a reindeer/camel/baby alien." I also have the most wonderful best friends in the world. They bring out the best and the worst in me, they compliment my strange sense of humor, they foster my creativity, they carry me around when I'm drunk, they dance with me until my feet are bleeding, they buy me lunch, and they do a pretty good job of trying to understand me.

The people in my life are not the problem. I just feel repressed in some way. I used to make things - music, art, messes with glue guns. I need to start doing these things again. Anymore, I make excuses - I'm too tired, I don't have the time/money/space for a piano. But I can't do that anymore. I can't let those parts of me die.

Someone here in my office is eating an orange. It smells good.

Functioning on a One-Word Level

2006-11-29T17:26:00.000-05:00

Yourself: Jittery
Your partner: Sick
Your hair: Short
Your Mother: Amusing
Your Father: Fifty
Your Favorite Item: Bra
Your dream last night: Death
Your Favorite Drink: Rum
Your Dream Car: Jaguar
Your Dream Home: Old
The Room You Are In: Cubicle
Your Ex: Bitter
Your fear: Loss
Where you Want to be in Ten Years: Happy
Who you hung out with last night: Palahniuk
What You're Not: Religious
Muffins: Blueberry
One of Your Wish List Items: Cello
Time: Dark
The Last Thing You Did: Sniffle
What You Are Wearing: Glasses
Your favorite weather: Fall
Your Favorite Book: Atwood
Last thing you ate: Vitamin
Your Life: Domestic
Your mood: Blah
Your Best Friends: Wonderful
What are you thinking about right now: Home
Your car: Focus
What are you doing at the moment: Sniffling
Your summer: Over
Relationship status: Wed
What is on your tv: Silence
What is the weather like: Unseasonable
When is the last time you laughed: Lunch

-Stolen from Rilah who stole it from Binsk-

But Barely.

2006-11-28T09:13:00.000-05:00

I am still alive, I have just been horribly, horribly sick for several days. I've been medicating myself before bed with Nyquil and I wake up in a crazy fog. I fall asleep on the toilet. I can't breathe. I cough so hard that it makes my eyes hurt.

Uggghhhh...

Giving Thanks

2006-11-22T10:46:00.000-05:00

I am a really thankful person. There are so many people, things, and events that have shaped who I am, and I've had more lucky breaks than I probably deserve. Don't think I don't know it. If I tried to make a complete, cohesive list, it would take forever and never be finished. So I'll condense it a bit.

It goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway) that at the top of the list are Manny, Kitten, C-Rex, and all my wonderful family and friends (real-world, blog-world, and work-world). You people are the absolute best. I love you so much!

Then I'd say my house. For the first time in a long time, I'm living somewhere that actually feels like home. And I have good appliances!

Next would be my job. For years I had a string of shitty jobs that made me dread going to work every day. Now I don't. Hooray!

Everything else on the list is in no particular order: coffee, anti-depressants, e-mail, Internet comics and satire news sites, crossword puzzles, the kindness of others, makeup, Netflix, Sharpie markers, digital cameras, wine, Jon Stewart, the new vending machines at work, NPR, Clorox disinfecting wipes, our friends at the Irish Lion, cinnamon gum, my happy childhood, finding a doctor that actually listens to me, good schools, Britpop, blackberry jam, fake bacon, sunglasses, Real Simple magazine, Wikipedia, and nightlights.

Open Letters, Part II

2006-11-21T11:13:00.000-05:00

Dear General Mills:
You have almost gotten it right. I have long been a fan of the cheddar-flavored Chex Mix. The problem was that I tended to favor the cheese-dusted corn Chex. I'd eat the rest of the mix, but reluctantly so. Then you introduced "Simply Chex," which was just a bag of cheese-dusted Chex. Wow! I was so excited! Except that it was both corn and wheat Chex. The wheat Chex, while I'm sure is a much better source of whole grain, tastes kind of like burnt cardboard. Go one step further and make me some "Simply Cheese-Dusted Corn Chex," and I'll be your happiest customer.

Dear My Period:
Thank you for arriving and all, believe me, I appreciate it. But damn you for sneaking up on me one day early.

Dear Wells Fargo:
Please stop calling me. I know my car payment is late. It's in the mail. You'll get it just in time to save the company from completely collapsing around itself. Jesus.

Weird.

2006-11-17T09:46:00.000-05:00

I had a really fucked-up dream early this morning.
I had a dream that I was at the Academy Awards. I was Katie Holmes' personal assistant, and I was there to accept an award on her behalf. Peter Boyle was the presenter of the award, some lifetime achievement thing. I was wearing a champagne-colored dress. Manny was sitting next to me. I had a really painful loose tooth - my top left canine. It was bugging the shit out of me, and I kept poking at it with my tongue. Right as Peter Boyle motioned for me to come up onto the stage to accept Katie's award, I yanked the tooth out of my mouth. I had to - it hurt so bad. The pain was gone, but I was afraid there would be blood everywhere. Manny looked at me and said, "No blood! You look perfect, and no one will ever notice!"
And then I woke up. The dream felt so real that I actually had to check when I woke up to see if my tooth was still there.

Mystery Photo

2006-11-16T15:18:00.000-05:00

I don't know who this is or where this came from, but I love this photo.

Actually, No, I Do Not Want My MTV.

2006-11-15T09:28:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, I had cable. I watched TV regularly. It served many purposes. It was mindless entertainment on weeknights after the children had been put to bed. It was soothing background noise when I was lonely or cleaning, or both. It was both babysitter and pacifier (I admit it), mediator and instigator, releaser of my inner emotions and provocateur of my political anger. Manny and I had a schedule that often revolved around the television. We had CSI: Las Vegas every night from 8-10, Jeopardy! at 7:30, Battlestar Galactica on Friday nights. And although I never got into shows like Lost or Grey's Anatomy, you bet your ass that I wasn't going anywhere when Deal or No Deal was on.

Then we moved from our shitty and moderately-affordable apartment to our nice and slightly more budget-straining house. Cuts were made, and cable television got the ax. Frankly, I was a bit relieved. I was feeling dumber and all the channel-surfing was really intensifying my ADD.

So we've been living without our cable for almost four months now, and I'm fine. I don't miss it (okay, well, I do miss Jeopardy! sometimes). However, Manny's subscription to TV Guide is still in effect, and whenever one arrives in the mail, I usually just toss it. But for some reason, I was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal last night, and saw it lying there, so I started thumbing through. The cover read "GREY'S ANATOMY: Will Addison Give in to McSteamy - Again?," which struck me as completely, utterly ridiculous, but for some reason, I kept on going.

I shouldn't have been eating when I did this. Afterwards, I felt queasy and dirty. I don't remember what I read or saw, but I just know that I can safely say I'm not missing anything.

Well, except maybe Jeopardy!

ADDENDUM: I just walked in on a bathroom discussion about The Dog Whisperer and overheard the following: "Oh, I love that man! He is my idol! I have never seen someone with such a positive attitude!" Ugh. Okay. First of all, I have never heard of something so hokey as a "dog whisperer." Second, I do not think having a positive attitude is grounds for making someone one's idol. I think that because, yes, I have a negative attitude.

Monthiversary

2006-11-13T10:54:00.000-05:00

This is what we were up to exactly thirty-one days ago.

Happy Monthiversary, Manny.

I love you even more now than I did a month ago.

It's the End of the Week As We Know It

2006-11-10T08:54:00.000-05:00

It's been a good week! Well, really, after the Democratic takeover of the House and the Senate, I don't think much could have brought me down. I'll take a break from my political posting and just halfass it with my usual Friday Five.

1) If you had to move 100 miles or more to the north, east, west, or south, which would you choose, where would you end up, and what's so great about there?
Thankfully this says "100 miles or more," because if it was just 100, I'd opt-out of this question. There is nothing remotely interesting about the middle of Illinois, mid-northern, southern, or eastern Indiana. I would go 230 miles northeast to Chicago. Chicago is so great BECAUSE IT'S CHICAGO. I love big cities.
2) Do you have a favorite stretch of highway or byway for driving, touring, or wandering?
Interstate 76 through Pennsylvania. I'd take this road on trips to New Jersey to visit my family, and although it's a long trip, it's so beautiful.
3) Are you happier to start a trip or return home?
The trip home, although it always seems longer, is one I'm generally happier to start.
4) Plane, train, automobile, bicycle, or foot?
Automobile. I love the thrill of going to the airport and flying, but I am still a very skittish plane passenger. I've not traveled by train enough to appreciate it, I haven't rode a bicycle a considerable distance since I was a kid, and I'm just lazy when it comes to walking.
5) Do you overplan or underplan your travels?
I generally underplan, because it leaves room for spontanaeity.

D-E-M-O-C-R-A-C-Y Spells Relief

2006-11-08T09:04:00.000-05:00

I promise I won't gloat, at least not much, but if you make the assumption that I am ecstatic over the Democrats' sweeping victory of the House of Representatives, you would be very correct. When I read the news last night, I cried. I really did. My congratulations go out to the winners, especially Baron Hill, Joe Donnelly, and Brad Ellsworth of Indiana. Help fix things, guys. We need change, we need it badly, and we need it now.

I am holding my breath and refreshing my browser as I anxiously watch CNN for the results of the Senate. Come on, Democrats in Montana and Virginia...

Oh, and also, my congratulations go out to Britney Spears. You're better off without that douche bag, and only you could momentarily detract attention away from politics on Election Day.

Ignorance May Be Bliss, But it Still Makes You Ignorant.

2006-11-07T08:32:00.000-05:00

The state of this country saddens me. If I had to describe it in three words, I'd use disgusting, disheartening, and suffocating.

What bothers me more is that people exist out there that don't know about, or even worse, care about politics. I have certain friends and acquaintances that just don't bother reading or thinking about the subject. They'd rather bide their time watching Dancing With the Stars and stuffing themselves with mental junk food.

Wake the fuck up! You may not particularly care about the hot-button issues like stem cell research, gay marriage, immigration laws, Iraq, abortion, etc. - probably because it doesn't directly affect you. But just you wait. If this current wave of conservative control continues on any longer, it will eventually affect you. Healthcare, taxes, social services, shit - even the Internet and the materials you can find at your local library - you will be affected.

Today is Election Day. Get the fuck out there and vote.

When the Nazis arrested the Communists, I said nothing; after all, I was not a Communist. When they locked up the Social Democrats, I said nothing; after all, I was not a Social Democrat. When they arrested the trade unionists, I said nothing; after all, I was not a trade unionist. When they arrested the Jews, I said nothing; after all, I was not a Jew. When they arrested me, there was no longer anyone who could protest.
Martin Niemöller

I'm Feeling So 19th Century Right Now

2006-11-06T09:12:00.000-05:00

I'm currently reading Jane Eyre, which I haven't read in exactly 10 years. I first read it when I was 13. It took me a bit to get used to the flowery verbosity of Charlotte Brontë's writing style, but I'll be damned if I'm not totally loving it. I'll be sad when I'm done with this book.

Five, Oh! It's a Magic Number... Yeah It Is...

2006-11-03T09:31:00.000-05:00

It's Friday... you know what that means...

1. What was the first CD/Record/Album/Artist you ever bought and what format was it in?
The first album I ever bought with my own money was a cassette of Green Day's Dookie. I was eleven years old and in the 6th grade. I was completely spellbound by that album, and honestly, it's still one of my favorites.
2. How do you usually listen to music? (iPod/Walkman/Stereo/Radio)
I usually listen to music on CD in my car, on my computer at work, or on the computer at home.
3. What is your favorite genre of music and why?
I'm going to have to stand by Britpop, especially anything from pre-1998. It's always been there for me and always makes me feel good. It encompasses all that is lovely and wonderful about music.
4. What is your opinion on music video shows and music televion?
Currently, it's pretty much all shit. I used to be a big MTV fan, back in the day when they actually played music videos. Do you remember those days? They're becoming a hazy memory anymore...
5. Do you usually agree with who the winners of the Grammy Awards are?
Hell, I don't even know who the winners of the Grammy Awards are. I don't pay attention to that kind of thing.

Still On My Political Soapbox

2006-11-02T16:00:00.000-05:00

May I remind you what this election is about? Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo, unprecedented presidential powers, unmatched incompetence, unparalleled corruption, unwarranted eavesdropping, Katrina, Enron, Halliburton, global warming, Cheney’s secret energy task force, record oil company profits, $3 gasoline, FEMA, the Supreme Court, Diebold, Florida in 2000, Ohio in 2004, Terri Schiavo, stem cell research, golden parachutes, shrunken pensions, unavailable and expensive healthcare, habeas corpus, no weapons of mass destruction, sacrificed soldiers and Iraqi civilians, wasted billions, Taliban resurgence, expiration of the assault weapons ban, North Korea, Iran, intelligent design, Swift boat hit squads, and on and on.
This election is about that, but much more—it’s about honor, dignity and comity in this country. It’s about the Constitution, which gives us this great nation. Bush ran on a pledge of “restoring honor and integrity” to the White House. Instead, he brought us Tom DeLay, Roy Blunt, Katherine Harris, John Doolittle, Jerry Lewis, Richard Pombo, Mark Foley, Dennis Hastert, David Safavian, Jack Abramoff, Ralph Reed, Karl Rove and an illegal and immoral war in Iraq. People, it’s up to you.

So true and absolutely dead right on. An excerpt of a report from the great Molly Ivins over on Truthdig.com

I'm Sorry, Your Plan is Backfiring

2006-11-01T16:02:00.000-05:00

Dear Republican Congressman Mike Sodrel and the Committee to Elect Said Candidate Running for Re-Election,

As a citizen residing somewhere in Indiana's 9th District, I have the great misfortune to be a recipient of bi-weekly "robocalls" (good term there, Masson). Why am I addressing you and your supporters with my complaint? Because, Congressman Sodrel, when I answer these calls, I am told a story. It is a story in which you are the brave, moral hero, and the villain is none other than your evil, heathen opponent, Baron Hill. The story claims that Baron is running a "negative campaign," amongst many other things. I generally don't listen to the rest of the story for a handful of reasons:

1. The person on the other end of the phone is always reading in a very boring, monotone voice that my brain automatically rejects.
2. I find it hard to believe that Baron is the one running a negative campaign when I haven't received a single call from persons representing him that are bashing you.
3. I have better things to do than listen to mudslinging political phone calls.
4. Most importantly, I don't really like you. I think you're kinda sleazy. You don't represent any of the my "Hoosier values," and seeing that I am a resident of Indiana and therefore, unfortunately, a marked "Hoosier," in order to obtain my vote, you'll probably have to agree on a few things I feel are important. You are pro-life, anti-stem cell research, pro-Patriot Act permanence, anti-grassroots politics, pro-unauthorized snooping on civilians, and anti-social and welfare reform. You're also quite obviously against gay marriage.

So, in short, Congressman, why the fuck would I vote for you?

Let me answer that question for you: I WON'T.

And I will be duly relieved when next week is over and I don't have to hear about you again for at least two more years.

Sincerely yours in all her pro-choice, pro-gays marryin', atheistic, democratic, social-reformin' glory,
Gigi J. Frankenstein

Lots of Cuteness and One Dark Lord of the Sith

2006-10-31T21:47:00.000-05:00

Trick-or-treating this evening went very well. The girls had a great (though chilly) time going door-to-door. They made out like candy thieves (of course), and I haven't even gotten to see all their loot yet. But I will. Oh yes. I will. I haven't forgotten my resolution, though - don't worry, kids!

Me & Kitten

C-Rex, Manny, & Kitten

Kitten, vogueing.

C-Rex the witch

Happy Halloween!

2006-10-31T09:59:00.000-05:00

I love Halloween. It's pretty much my favorite holiday, and I think it has mostly to do with the combination of the colors black and orange. I especially love all the spooky imagery that comes along with it... ghosts, vampires, skeletons, black cats. I much more prefer those things to Santa, snowmen, and evergreen trees. It's also the only time of year I can go to the store and buy goblets in the shape of skulls.

Over the years, I have had many Halloween costumes. I've been a ghost, She-Ra, Pocahontas, a hippie, Sylvia Plath (yes, it's true), a Spanish flamenco dancer, and several variations on a goth chick. Today, I am simply wearing a purple bob-length wig which I am very much enjoying, and which Kitten says makes me look like DeeDee Doodle from Nickelodeon's The Doodlebops. I do not agree with her, but oh well.

Tonight, I will be ushering around a witch (C-Rex) and a black cat who has insisted that her costume include a skirt (Kitten). This will be the girls' first year of "real" trick-or-treating, now that we live in a bona fide neighborhood. Hopefully, though, we don't come across any neighbors like this guy, who thinks that kids are really going to a) care about and b) appreciate little bits of Christian paraphernalia along with their candy. Dude. Let it go. It's one night a year. Lay off the Pagan-rooted holiday if you have such an issue with it. Your tract is just going to get tossed into the garbage along with those nasty orange- and black-wrapped chewy things.

Anyway, have a safe and happy Halloween, and watch out for those razor blades...

Resolution

2006-10-30T09:41:00.000-05:00

This year, I swear I will not eat all my children's Halloween candy.
I swear.

Je Suis un Slacker

2006-10-27T10:17:00.000-04:00

Confession: I love Fridays because I don't have to think about what to post. I just have to answer questions. Thank you, Friday Five.

1) What was the last thing that you ate?
Toast with soy butter, chocolate soymilk, coffee.
2) Who was the last person you shared a meal with?
My kids, when we had Spaghettios for supper last night. Yes, SPAGHETTIOS. With garlic bread and mozzarella string cheese.
3) What is your favorite all time dish (recipes welcome)?
I have way too many to list. I really love mashed potatoes, though.
4) If you could eat one thing for an entire year, what would it be?
Six million variations of toast.
5) If you could have dinner with any five people (dead or alive) who would they be?
Jon Stewart, Catherine Deneuve, Sacha Baron Cohen, William S. Burroughs, Mitch Hedberg

Today's Entertainment

2006-10-26T09:38:00.000-04:00

Brought to you by my kids. Lighting is kind of poor, but the sound is what really matters.

Enjoy!

I'm a Sucker

2006-10-24T09:04:00.000-04:00

Everyone, this is Mr. Wig. Say hello.

One afternoon last week, I went to Starbucks for a coffee. While waiting for my drink, I was looking through the new fall/Halloween merchandise they had set out. I came across a bin of the cutest plush creatures I have ever seen. There were three different kinds, each looking like something straight out of Monsters, Inc., one of my favorite kid movies. I knew the girls would love them, so I got one of each and let them pick what they wanted. Kitten picked out the monster picture above and christened it "Wig," which later became "Mr. Wig." Please don't ask me why she named him this, but it's very cute and very funny.

Anyway, last Friday, when her dad picked her up, she wanted to take Mr. Wig with her, and I obliged. I started regretting that last night. She wouldn't go to sleep, didn't want to stay in bed, and began crying for Mr. Wig. "I want my Wiggy!" she wailed inconsolably.

So yes. At 10 PM last night, I drove to Starbucks and bought not a coffee but a small, stuffed, plush, one-eyed monster.

Friday Five, Part 2, On a Monday

2006-10-23T12:10:00.000-04:00

Because they just got posted.
1. How do you deal with stress?
I take Effexor. And I bite my cuticles. And I pop zits. And I change the subject. And I go shopping. I don't deal with stress in a very healthy way.
2. Do you have a favorite "comfort food" and what is it?
Cereal, toast, and ice cream.
3. Do you have a "comfort activity" and what is it?
Reading. Sleeping. Watching The Daily Show clips on YouTube.
4. What days depress you and why?
I'm not too keen on Mondays, just because they're kind of hectic. Any day that I have to go to WalMart for something is a bad day, too.
5. What days excite you and why?
Generally all holidays, Saturdays, trash/recycling pick-up day.

Like Martha Stewart, Minus the Jail Time.

2006-10-23T10:14:00.002-04:00

This year, I cancelled my subscription to Jane magazine and switched to Real Simple instead.
I purchased a day planner and a list-organizing notebook.
I have a sewing machine on my Christmas list.
I spend a fair amount of time worrying about fitting all the food groups into my kids' diet.
I prefer staying at home watching movies on the couch to going out.
I have made plans to go ice skating and bake cookies with my siblings for the holidays.
I am going to make ghosts out of white plastic trash bags with my kids this week.
I am also going to carve jack o'lanterns this week.
I will roast the seeds, too.

But dammit, I still wear socks with skulls on them.

Friday Makes Love, Not War

2006-10-20T09:11:00.000-04:00

Hooray, it's Friday!
Blogger's been a bitch today, so I would have posted this sooner, but whatevs.
I'm looking forward to a weekend of relaxing yardwork and refrigerator-defrosting. And on Sunday,Manny and I get to go see The Producers, which should be a good show.
So, without any further adieu, here are my Friday Five. They are technically last week's, since this week's haven't been posted yet.

1. What job do you have, and why do you like/hate it?
I am a graphic designer for a publishing company. I make cover artwork for books. I actually really like my job, and I'm not just saying that because I'm paranoid that my blog is read by work-people. It's been the first job I've had that I don't hate outright, and although I'd much rather be doing other things during the day, I don't mind being at work.
2. As a kid, what did you want to be when you "grew up?"
What didn't I want to be? I went through so many different phases... a mermaid, a ballerina, a writer, an actress, a pediatrician, a veterinarian, an art teacher, a tornado-chaser...
3. Is the job you have now anything like what you imagined as a kid?
Absolutely not, which is kind of funny. My job now is nothing like I pictured I'd be doing five years ago. It just kind of came out of the blue and fit perfectly.
4. Do you have a five-year career plan?
Not a well-mapped out plan, but I'd like to be doing about the same thing... just getting paid more!
5. In order to get the job of your dreams, is there anything you wouldn't do? Why?
I'm not going to have sex with anyone in order to work from home. In fact, I don't even know how that would quite work out.

About the Wedding (in Sixty Seconds)

2006-10-18T09:27:00.000-04:00

Kicked off the day with a massage at a spa. Very nice and relaxing. Manny spent the rest of the afternoon compiling the CDs for the reception - had to cut over 200 songs down to about 60. Got my nails done, then promptly fucked them up by bumping into a door, thumb first. Emergency trip to the beauty supply store to buy the same shade of nail polish to fix the fucked-uppedness. Lori came over, was very useful by helping me with bouquet, then she went to the Irish Lion to set up decorations. Got prettied up back at the homestead. Mom came over to help me into my dress. Parents drove me over to the Lion and let me out in an alley. Was smuggled upstairs and hidden in a closet/office. Bagpiper led me out with very loud and wonderful music. All the other restaurant patrons stood up, which was cool. Christian began ceremony. Manny pledged to stand by me through good times vs. bad, mania vs. depression, baseball season vs. allergy season, buying DVDs vs. buying shoes, Dario Argento vs. Christopher Guest, surfing the net all night vs. going to bed at a decent hour, Joy Division vs. Tori Amos, pirates vs. ninjas, and Capitalism vs. Communism. I then pledged to stand by him through good times vs. bad, happiness vs. hangovers, lottery tickets vs. parking tickets, spooning vs. snoring, a stable home life vs. rearranging the furniture all the time, Margaret Atwood vs. Philip K. Dick, beer in the fridge vs. rising gas prices, astronauts vs. cavemen, and Democrats vs. Republicans. Put on rings, took eachother as man and lady (and said those words, too). Christian then ordered us to "make it so." Big tongue kiss. Rest of the night dissolved into a blur of photos and champagne and cake and wonderful, wonderful friends and family. And now, we're married.

Manny, you can, at times, be a terrible shit, but I love you like mad and I can say with complete confidence that on Friday the 13th, I married my best friend in the whole wide fucking world. We will have great adventures together, as well as great times of domestic routine, but through it all, we have eachother, and I'm looking forward to it already... the job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener...

To Tide You Over

2006-10-17T13:28:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures from the wedding. I'll blog all about it tomorrow. Enjoy!

Manny, waiting for me...

Winners of the 1st International Face-Eating Contest.

Hooray, marriage!

I gotta keep him in line.

We have a lot of teeth...

...which came in handy, 'cos we have a lot of cake.

Well. That Was Fun.

2006-10-14T10:42:00.000-04:00

I am now officially Mrs. Manfred Manbride. Watch out!

Epiphany

2006-10-12T06:25:00.000-04:00

Holy shit. I'm getting married tomorrow.

Dentists Would Be Proud

2006-10-10T08:13:00.000-04:00

As most of you know, Manny's daughter, C-Rex, started kindergarten in August. She is doing wonderfully, learning something new every day. The best part is that she tends to share these things with us at the most random of times. When we pick her up from school and ask her what she learned that day, she usually responds with "I don't know." But if we give her an hour or so, she'll start telling us amazing facts about camels and discussing what household chemicals are poisonous.

Yesterday, after picking her and Kitten up, we went by the bridal shop to pick up my dress and shoes. After we got back in the car, we were pulling out of the parking lot, and C piped up, "Guess what I learned about today that I never learned about before?"

"What's that?" I replied.

"It's when you get holes in your teeth 'cause you don't brush and it's called 'tooth acay,' " she said gravely.

"Oh, right, tooth decay. That can cause cavities in your teeth," I responded.

"Yeah, like if you don't brush your teeth right and if you eat bad foods or you eat only one food all the time, you can get tooth acay," she said. And that was that.

Later that evening, after we had dinner, it must have still been on her mind. She and Kitten were in the bathroom washing their hands, and they were being pretty quiet. Then I heard C whisper conspiratorially, "Hey K... you wanna talk some more about teeth?"

A Post That is Not About the Wedding

2006-10-09T12:02:00.000-04:00

I love you, fall. You are the most beautiful season.

One Week to Go

2006-10-06T08:26:00.000-04:00

That says it all. Seven days until the wedding.

I am remarkably on top of things. I'll pick up my dress and shoes this weekend, my flowers have been ordered (I am making my own bouquet, 'cos I'm talented like that), the bagpiper has been scheduled (that's right, BAGPIPES!), the cake is paid for, the rings are here, the photographer is lined up (she's wonderful), the vows have been received and are being tweaked this weekend, Manny is making our wedding music CDs this weekend, our massage is scheduled, hmmm... am I leaving anything out? The only thing left to do is to get Manny's suit. That's his job, though.

Time for my Friday Five. They're about apples!
1. Have you been apple picking yet this year?
No, but just because I'm too lazy. There is an apple orchard not too far from here. I'd like to go.
2. Where do you go to buy or pick your apples?
The grocery store.
3. What is your favorite variety of apple?
I like them all except for your standard red apple. I do not like the standard red apple.
4. How do you like to eat your apples (fresh, dipped in caramel, baked into a pie, etc)?
I rarely turn down anything apple-related. I'll take them any way I can get them!
5. They say an apple-a-day keeps the doctor away. When was the last time you saw your doctor?
It's been almost a month ago. Mental health issues!

Future Blogger

2006-10-04T09:39:00.000-04:00

She'll be a blogger someday, baby...

Going Out With a Blarrrgghhh

2006-10-02T09:14:00.000-04:00

this was before i vomited and fell down.

Saturday night was my bachelorette party. My dear friends Indy, Lori, E, and George all took very good care of me whilst getting me the drunkest I have ever been in my life. I didn't have a typical bachelorette party - no veils or trips to the porn store or cakes in the shape of a penis. Just some good old-fashioned bar-hopping that ended with me throwing up in an ashtray outside the gay bar. I was bruised and scraped up the next morning, and thank god I had a full day to recover. I swear I am never drinking again. Well, until next weekend, anyway.

I also finally bought my wedding dress this weekend. My mom and I went shopping - and we had the intention of making it pretty much an all-day thing, but luckily, the first dress I tried on was not only perfect but came with a price tag of $99. Whoo hoo, discontinued mark-down!

Eleven days to go!!

TV on the Blog

2006-09-29T08:42:00.000-04:00

I'm not so busy that I can't stop and blog about myself for five minutes. Of course.

1) What TV show(s) do you find yourself watching the most?
Well, I don't have "the cable" anymore, so I watch things on DVD, YouTube, or... you know... otherwise. I'm a big House, M.D. and Battlestar Galactica fan. I also love me some Daily Show.
2) What if any TV shows do you own on DVD?
The Office (UK), The Prisoner, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Clarissa Explains It All, various SNL specials.
3) Can you name your favorite TV show theme song?
The theme from Monty Python's Flying Circus. And my favorite song to appear on a TV's show's opening credits? Massive Attack's "Teardrop" on House, M.D.
4) Have you ever been on TV and if so for what?
No, and it would be bad if I was because I'd probably just make an ass of myself.
5) What is your favorite YouTube video?
anything from The Daily Show

Where is My Mind?

2006-09-27T12:49:00.000-04:00

Dear Blog and Friends of Blog,
In the next couple of weeks, please don't be hurt if I don't keep up with you like I normally do. I have a lot of things rattling around in my head right now, most of them having to do with the wedding. I've still got a lot of shit to take care of - dress, suit, rings, cake, vows, choreographing the ceremony, flowers, hair cut, hair color, getting my nails done, waxing my eyebrows, etc. We have, however, gotten our marriage license, and I have finally sent out the invites. I've made a dent in my list! That's what matters!!

Seventeen days to go!

Anyway, don't worry, I'm still here, I'm still checking in, I still love you all. I'm just mentally busy as fuck.

Oh! And a quick update: I am still a vegetarian and I'm still on my meds. Being veggie is working out pretty well - I made my first vegan banana bread the other night - it was delicious. Effexor is treating me pretty well, too. Hooray!

I Don't Know if I Can Take it Anymore

2006-09-25T09:08:00.000-04:00

Kitten is an extremely musical child. She likes to sing, she likes to listen to music. I suspect at some point in the future, I'll have to start shelling money out for some sort of instrument lesson. This is all wonderful - don't think it doesn't excite me to have a child so into music.

However, she has developed a recent fascination - no, obsession - that is rather amusing and somewhat bizarre.

Maybe it's the hair. Or the makeup. Or the bright colors and lights. Or maybe it's just Dee Snider's charisma and crazy stage antics, but my daughter has become a die-hard fan of Twisted Sister.

She first "discovered" them by rifling through our collection of LPs. She picked up our copy of Stay Hungry, on which Dee is in full makeup, gnawing on a meaty bone. She asked me who it was, and I told her. Manny then found one of their videos on YouTube, and she has been in love ever since. We listen to them in the car. We watch their videos on YouTube. Over and over. She narrates them for us. We have conversations about them. Do you know how hard it is to explain to a three-year-old that Twisted Sister aren't really sisters, or even girls, for that matter?

But this morning, when I woke her up, the first words out of her mouth as she sat up were "Twisted Sister!" She got out of bed, went downstairs, climbed on Manny's lap, and demanded that he played her a video. And, feeding her obsession, he obliged.

Thanks Again

2006-09-22T09:29:00.000-04:00

Thanks again to everyone who showed me some birthday love. You guys are wonderful.

Thanks to Corinna for the rad socks, and thanks to Rilah for the very sweet card. You Canadians are awesome.

My dearest Manny gave me an excellent book on typography, because I am a big nerd like that.

Here is a photo of the cake presented to me by my friends Lori and George. It is very appropriate, I think.

So thanks again, everyone!

Now, it's time for the Friday Five:

1. Given a choice, and imagining that money and time were no object, would you rather cook dinner, eat out or order in?
Once upon a time, I would have said "go out to eat," but I'm kind of lazy and domesticated now, and I would prefer to stay at home with my unrestricted-by-the-bounds-of-time-and-money meal, so I could enjoy it in my pajamas.
2. What is the most elaborate meal you've ever prepared yourself or purchased at a restaurant?
Hmmm... well... considering that I am an "appetizer for my meal" kind of girl, anything other than that is pretty elaborate for me. Once, though, Manny and I went to a fancy Italian restaurant for a romantic evening, and we had the works - appetizer, full meal, wine, and dessert. That's a pretty big deal for me.
3. What food do you find yourself making and/or eating way too much?
Cereal. Toast.
4. What was your most disastrous cooking/eating out experience?
Pretty much every time I've ever tried to use a crockpot. I am crockpot-retarded.
5. Would you rather cook for someone else or have them cook for you?
I like to cook! I'll cook for you!

I Say it's My Birthday

2006-09-21T08:54:00.000-04:00

Today, at 11:36 AM, I will officially be 23 years old. This is a rather unremarkable age, but I will celebrate it nonetheless. Thank you to everyone who has/will be sending me birthday greetings/cards/presents/chips and salsa - I appreciate all of it and I love all of you!

I now present to you photos. Yay, photos!

I'm the one in the hat.

My dad, sporting a lovely hospital gown and some very 80s glasses.

I still wear sailor dresses from time to time, when I feel fancy.

This was before I smeared the cake all over my face.

Gettin' All Registered Up in This Mofo

2006-09-19T13:25:00.000-04:00

Check it out! I made an Amazon wedding registry for me and Manny!

My Birthday is in Two Days

2006-09-19T10:14:00.000-04:00

... and it's never too late for you to send me a gift from my Amazon wishlist!

Yes, I'm pretty sure none of my blogfriends will buy me Chanel perfume or a Wacom tablet, but I can hope, right? Yeah.

Engauging My Eyes Out

2006-09-18T12:38:00.000-04:00

Manny and I met with the guy who will be officiating our wedding ceremony the other night. He's a really cool dude I work with, and we picked him because we didn't really want a stranger sealing this big deal for us. Anyway, we had a great meeting with him, and I can't wait to work on the vows. He's giving us a basic structure for the vows, but allowing us to embellish them as we want. I won't give away anything yet, but I will say that there will be lines from Star Trek worked in there. Brace yourselves, wedding guests.

Lazy

2006-09-15T09:48:00.000-04:00

I've been a lazy blogger this week. I suck, I know.

Time for new Friday Five. Shit yeah.

1. What's your favorite line from a movie, and why?
I have tons of these! It would be impossible for me to list them all, but here are some:
"Nobody fucks with the Jesus." - The Big Lebowski
"I am nobody's little weasel." - Amelie
"You can call me Susan if it makes you happy." - Snatch
"We want the finest wines available to humanity, and we want them here, and we want them now." - Withnail & I
"English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?" - Pulp Fiction
2. Who's your favorite villain from a movie, and why?
Darth Vader.
3. Name one movie everyone else loves that you hate.
Hands down - The Princess Bride. Everyone and their grandmother loves that movie, and I can't stand to watch it.
4. Name one movie everyone else hates that you love.
Probably lots of them. I have strange tastes in film.
5. What's your favorite Pixar film, and why?
Monsters, Inc. It is undeniably cute.

Progress Report

2006-09-11T08:28:00.000-04:00

Days without meat: 7
So far, I'm not missing meat/various other animal products. I'm missing the convenience (fast food, mostly), but not the stuff itself. I am still eating cheese, because that's going to be one hard dietary habit to break. But I have replaced all my milk with soymilk, butter with soy butter, hot dogs with veggie dogs, etc. I have tried cooking with tofu and checked out cookbooks from the library. So far, so good.
Days on antidepressants: 4
Although I know I won't get a good, full effect from my drugs for a couple more weeks or so, I am already noticing differences. I feel calmer, more patient, and able to think more clearly. As for side effects, here's what I've noticed: when I drink, I still feel nice, but things are sharper. It's what I call a "smarter drunk." I also yawn more frequently, which is admittedly strange, but not too bothersome. My appetite is diminished a bit. There may be a possible sexual side effect - I'm not entirely sure yet - let's just say it takes me longer, but the time -ahem- is worth it.
Days until our impending nuptials: 32
Almost a month to go. My dress is in the process of being made. We're meeting with our officiant this week to work on our vows. I still need to print and mail out the invitations (yeah, that's important). I also need to secure things with the cake, the photographer, and the flowers. Shit, I better get on these things.
Days until my birthday: 10
Hooray, not that important.

It's Official!

2006-09-10T03:24:00.000-04:00

Okay, so the long-running sort-of inside joke with Manny and I getting married has been that he hasn't actually proposed. That's right, we've been planning to get married for nine months now, and the wedding is all planned out, but he had never actually asked me to be his wife.

Until tonight.

At 2 AM, on Sunday, September 10th, Manfred Manbride finally got down on one knee, produced the ring, and said to me,

"Fuck it. Will you marry me?"

And of course, I said yes.

**updated**

And because Stacey requested it, here is a close up of the ring. It's tourmaline and silver, as I am not a diamonds kind of gal. I wanted something that I would have picked out myself to wear "normally," and this was definitely the one.

Changes, and the Five

2006-09-08T09:51:00.000-04:00

As of Monday, September 4, I became a vegetarian. Honestly, it's not going to be a problem, I don't think. I've never been much of a red meat person, definitely not a pork person, and chicken sometimes. Seafood was the only "meat" I'm really fond of.

Anyway, Manny and I are doing this together. He wants to be full-on vegan eventually, and I think at some point I'll be ready for that, too. Until then, I consider myself lacto-vegetarian. I still participate in the consumption of dairy products, bitches.

I want a t-shirt that says that.

Anyway. So I'm not eating meat, and now I'm medicated. Yes, medicated. For five years or so, I struggled with depression and anxiety issues, and lately I have just been feeling overloaded and overwhelmed. I saw my doctor this morning, and I am now officially taking Effexor. After reading about the problems my dear Corinna had coming off the Eff, I'm a bit worried. I've done my research on forums and, as with pretty much every drug, there are good and bad reports. Some people say it gave them their life back, others say it ruined it. So we'll see. It's just an experiment, for now. I'll update you when I feel a difference.

So anyway, time for the Friday Five, which I know nobody cares about, but I'm such a fucking narcissist that I do it anyway. These are last week's questions, and if they get updated for today, I'll just go balls-out and do those, too.

For Sept. 1, 2006
1. Labor Day weekend traditionally marks the end of summer. What will you miss most about summer?
Absolutely nothing. Okay, maybe sandals. And swimming. And my town not being overran with the college kids. But that's it.
2. What are you most looking forward to this fall?
Everything! I love fall, it's my favorite season. Things I'm looking forward to: my birthday (Sept. 21), going to see the Futureheads (Sept. 23), volunteering at Lotus Festival (Oct. 6/7), GETTING MARRIED! (Oct. 13), Halloween, going to see Placebo (Nov. 3), cooler weather, colorful trees, boots, sweaters, WORLD SERIES, everything. I love fall.
3. What are your plans for Labor Day weekend?
Read here.
4. Labor Unions were the driving force behind the creation of Labor Day. How else have they impacted your life?
I've no fucking clue. They have allowed me to get a paid day off from work, though, for which I am thankful.
5. Natural labor or fully medicated labor?
When Kitten was born, I had an epidural. It was a huge relief.

Something I Think About #97

2006-09-07T10:51:00.000-04:00

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;
And frogs in the pool singing at night,
And wild plum trees in tremulous white;
Robins will wear their feathery fire,
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;
And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.
Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree,
If mankind perished utterly;
And Spring herself when she woke at dawn
Would scarcely know that we were gone.

-sara teasdale, "there will come soft rains"

Ray Bradbury wrote a short story with the same title based on this poem. It's my favorite story of his. Both the story and poem echo the same theme: how the world will carry on once humans have destroyed themselves. We don't even realize how unimportant we are.

This is something I think about.

The Meaning of Life

2006-09-06T10:12:00.000-04:00

I like to think this woman has found it.

(this photo belonged to my grandmother. i don't know who the subject is.)

My Long Weekend in Sixty Seconds

2006-09-05T09:29:00.000-04:00

-begin weekend-

visited IndyGirl. went to the gay bar with Indy, Pablo, Tim, and company. danced danced danced. came back to Indy's, my foot was bleeding. it hurt. got a bandaid that looked like bacon. slept. woke up. went to breakfast. coffee, eggs, oatmeal, toast. it was nice and chilly out. disassembled a coffee table. laid on floor with sunglasses on and contemplated. drove home with aforementioned coffee table in my back seat. was happy to see Manny, he smelled good and was wearing argyle socks. hot sex. long nap. went to grocery. biiiig bottle of wine, soy milk, veggie burgers, various other good and sundries. went home, cleaned house, happy to have windows open again. organized laundry cabinet. drank the wine and watched Candyman with Manny. really liked it. slept. woke up. watched Best in Show. drove to Columbus to meet my mom at a starbucks. halfway there, sudden realization - period. stop at gas station for tampons and advil. meet mom, drive to Indy (the city, not the person), shop at mall. mall is awful. three pairs of pants, earrings, and perfume. birthday present from mom - thanks, mom. pick up Kitten, Kitten goes home with my mom for a sleepover. go home. cookout at friend's house. listen to beatles. beer is rationed 'cos it's a sunday and indiana has shitty laws. go home. sleep. wake up. grocery shop, again. go see Little Miss Sunshine with Lori, George, and Gwynne. is very good, very very good. go home. C-Rex and Kitten are both dropped off. typical madness of usually associated with sunday night ensues. go to sleep. wake up.

-end weekend-

I ♥ September

2006-09-01T08:24:00.000-04:00

Hooray for Friday! Considering that this may have been one of the longest weeks of all time, today is especially wonderful. I woke up in a good mood and my coffee tastes really excellent today. August is finally fucking over (i get to change all my eight hundred calendars!), and it's now My Birthday Month (20 days to go!). Gas prices are falling (though I don't hold my breath long on that one), as is the temperature, and tonight - oh yes, tonight I get to go shake my ass with the beautiful trifecta that is the Illustrious Indygirl, Pablo Perfecto, and Hot Tim. Whee!

I am also looking forward to a long weekend of relaxation. And I'll finally get to watch Dead Poet's Society, which I received from Netflix, like, a week ago.

Hmmm... there aren't new questions up on the Friday Five, so I'll do last September's.

From September 2, 2005
1. Are you a frequent mover, or do you prefer to stay put?
Part of living in Bloomington is the joy of moving pretty much every year, or else face a hike in rental costs. Hopefully I'm past that now. In the past five years, I have lived in seven different places: my parents' house, apartment #1, house #1, apartment #2, townhouse #1, apartment #3, and house #2. I hate moving, and I would prefer not to do it again for a loooong time.

2. If given the choice, which would you prefer: big house and long commute, or small house and short commute?
It would be more economical to have a small house and short commute, so I'd probably choose that. But not having enough space drives me insane.

3. Do you prefer to do your own repairs and decorating, or hire a professional?
Shit, I'm poor. I'll do it myself or call Manny's brother, who can fix pretty much anything.

4. Do you prefer a big open living area, or a cozy space?
I prefer a big, open living area. In my ideal setting, it would include a loft with lots of windows.

5. What features are important to you in a home (state-of-the-art kitchen, fireplace, screened-in porch, etc.)?
My ideal house would be older, with wood floors, a sun room with lots of windows for my piano, a kitchen with a window over the sink (to look out while I do dishes), a fireplace, a basement for Manny to retreat to (he is not a fan of light), lots of little nooks and crannies, a loft, and a spooky attic. And trees, lots of trees outside.

My current house is nothing like this. But it's still a good house.

Important Announcement

2006-08-30T15:43:00.004-04:00

Ahem, ladies and gentlemen? Yes, I have an announcement.

It has been decided upon by a committee of highly astute people and by scientific survey that so-called "comedian," one Mr. Dane Cook, is officially declared "not funny."

Despite popular belief and a near-rabid following, it shall remain proven henceforth that Mr. Cook's jokes are trite, his attitude smarmy, his looks unremarkable (no, ladies and gentlemen, he is not "hot"), his accent annoying, and his talent mediocre at best. His general status can best be described with the adjectives "obnoxious" and "overrated."

Furthermore, anyone who allows himself to be romantically linked to Jessica Simpson is hereby granted the label of "douche bag."

You, Mr. Cook, have officially been declared "not funny," i.e., your jokes do not make me laugh.

Best of luck in your future endeavors.

-gigi frankenstein-

Feeling Fine

2006-08-30T09:31:00.000-04:00

I am feeling much, much better today. Turns out, not only was I in a ferocious mood, but I was sick, too. Still kind of am, but not nearly as bad as I was yesterday. I went home early from work, watched Kate and Leopold and fell asleep for a while. I also took some good immune system-boosting vitamins and went to bed early.

Yesterday evening, Kitten was sitting at the dining room table with Manny, working on some pages from her Little Critter workbook. One exercise had her choose which pictures began with the sound of a certain letter. This is how I know my daughter is very bright. For the letter L, there was a picture of a lock. "Key!" she guessed. "Nope, try again," said Manny. "Hmmm... PRISON!" she exclaimed. For the letter K, there was a picture of a pig wearing a crown to symbolize a king. Stating the obvious, Kitten immediately declared him a "pig queen!"

Hello, My Name is FUCK OFF

2006-08-29T09:56:00.000-04:00

Today, I am in what we in the scientific community call "a very bad mood."

I am sleep-deprived.

I thought it was Wednesday, but it's really only Tuesday.

My coffee didn't even help, it just made me more irritable.

I am in no mood to work, and our internet is slow.

Jill Carroll is still on CNN's mainpage.

Hurricane Katrina, one year later: PRESIDENT BUSH STILL AN INSENSITIVE, DIM-WITTED DOUCHE BAG!

The media makes me want to self-lobotomize.

I am hungry.

At least I still have Natalie Dee to cheer me up. Thank you, Natalie Dee.