Dear General Mills:
You have almost gotten it right. I have long been a fan of the cheddar-flavored Chex Mix. The problem was that I tended to favor the cheese-dusted corn Chex. I'd eat the rest of the mix, but reluctantly so. Then you introduced "Simply Chex," which was just a bag of cheese-dusted Chex. Wow! I was so excited! Except that it was both corn and wheat Chex. The wheat Chex, while I'm sure is a much better source of whole grain, tastes kind of like burnt cardboard. Go one step further and make me some "Simply Cheese-Dusted Corn Chex," and I'll be your happiest customer.
Dear My Period:
Thank you for arriving and all, believe me, I appreciate it. But damn you for sneaking up on me one day early.
Dear Wells Fargo:
Please stop calling me. I know my car payment is late. It's in the mail. You'll get it just in time to save the company from completely collapsing around itself. Jesus.