As a citizen residing somewhere in Indiana's 9th District, I have the great misfortune to be a recipient of bi-weekly "robocalls" (good term there, Masson). Why am I addressing you and your supporters with my complaint? Because, Congressman Sodrel, when I answer these calls, I am told a story. It is a story in which you are the brave, moral hero, and the villain is none other than your evil, heathen opponent, Baron Hill. The story claims that Baron is running a "negative campaign," amongst many other things. I generally don't listen to the rest of the story for a handful of reasons:
1. The person on the other end of the phone is always reading in a very boring, monotone voice that my brain automatically rejects.
2. I find it hard to believe that Baron is the one running a negative campaign when I haven't received a single call from persons representing him that are bashing you.
3. I have better things to do than listen to mudslinging political phone calls.
4. Most importantly, I don't really like you. I think you're kinda sleazy. You don't represent any of the my "Hoosier values," and seeing that I am a resident of Indiana and therefore, unfortunately, a marked "Hoosier," in order to obtain my vote, you'll probably have to agree on a few things I feel are important. You are pro-life, anti-stem cell research, pro-Patriot Act permanence, anti-grassroots politics, pro-unauthorized snooping on civilians, and anti-social and welfare reform. You're also quite obviously against gay marriage.
So, in short, Congressman, why the fuck would I vote for you?
Let me answer that question for you: I WON'T.
And I will be duly relieved when next week is over and I don't have to hear about you again for at least two more years.
Sincerely yours in all her pro-choice, pro-gays marryin', atheistic, democratic, social-reformin' glory,
Gigi J. Frankenstein