Once upon a time, I had cable. I watched TV regularly. It served many purposes. It was mindless entertainment on weeknights after the children had been put to bed. It was soothing background noise when I was lonely or cleaning, or both. It was both babysitter and pacifier (I admit it), mediator and instigator, releaser of my inner emotions and provocateur of my political anger. Manny and I had a schedule that often revolved around the television. We had CSI: Las Vegas every night from 8-10, Jeopardy! at 7:30, Battlestar Galactica on Friday nights. And although I never got into shows like Lost or Grey's Anatomy, you bet your ass that I wasn't going anywhere when Deal or No Deal was on.
Then we moved from our shitty and moderately-affordable apartment to our nice and slightly more budget-straining house. Cuts were made, and cable television got the ax. Frankly, I was a bit relieved. I was feeling dumber and all the channel-surfing was really intensifying my ADD.
So we've been living without our cable for almost four months now, and I'm fine. I don't miss it (okay, well, I do miss Jeopardy! sometimes). However, Manny's subscription to TV Guide is still in effect, and whenever one arrives in the mail, I usually just toss it. But for some reason, I was sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal last night, and saw it lying there, so I started thumbing through. The cover read "GREY'S ANATOMY: Will Addison Give in to McSteamy - Again?," which struck me as completely, utterly ridiculous, but for some reason, I kept on going.
I shouldn't have been eating when I did this. Afterwards, I felt queasy and dirty. I don't remember what I read or saw, but I just know that I can safely say I'm not missing anything.
Well, except maybe Jeopardy!
ADDENDUM: I just walked in on a bathroom discussion about The Dog Whisperer and overheard the following: "Oh, I love that man! He is my idol! I have never seen someone with such a positive attitude!" Ugh. Okay. First of all, I have never heard of something so hokey as a "dog whisperer." Second, I do not think having a positive attitude is grounds for making someone one's idol. I think that because, yes, I have a negative attitude.