Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Now Hear This

I love New York. I consider it to be My Favorite City So Far Because I Haven't Actually Been To Paris Yet. Though it isn't my home, it feels like home when I'm there. I love the noise and the movement and the action and the culture and the people and the smells - even that sour sewer smell. I love New York in the fall and spring, but I love it most in the winter. I love the lights at night. I even love the stupid tourist attractions.

But one of my favorite things to come from New York is this:
Overheard in New York.

Now, this idea could be done anywhere, but somehow the fact that these things were overheard in New York just makes them more interesting. Somehow.

Overheard on the L Train.
Girl #1: Well he's only ten years older than me!
Girl #2: That's almost rape! Sweetie, he's probably some sick pedophile.
Girl #1: It's not so bad...When I was sixteen he was only 24, right?
Girl #2: Well at least you're intellectual equivalents.
Girl #1: What's that?

Overheard at the pizza parlor:
Crazy lady: Where would we be without Mexicans? You are a very hard-working people.
"Mexican," working the register, nods.
Crazy lady: All the time I see your people working.
"Mexican" nods.
Crazy lady: Like no other.
"Mexican" nods. Crazy lady leaves.
"Mexican," to no one in particular: Soy de El Salvador.


Butchieboy said...

Other things heard in NY-

Iranian parking lot attendant: I am not goddamn! You are goddamn!

Me: Is the sushi bar open?
Host: Yes, sushi bar open.
Me: Can I get carry out?
Host: Carry out no!
Me: Why not?
Host: You have to go. Sushi Chef at doctor. We close.

Cabbie: Where you go.
Me: Madison Square Garden.
Cabbie: OK! How I get there?
Me: However you want.
Cabbie: Ok! You tell me where is.
Me: Pull over here, dude.

Stagehand at MSG: I'll slash your fuckin troat, kid.

indygirl said...

I cannot believe I've not yet been. Kicking myself!

ads510 said...

we're flying up to NY the thursday before labor day and coming back monday afternoon. We've never been, and we plan on doing all of the completely cheesy NY things (see a broadway show, go to a Yankees game, etc.) We can't wait.

gigi said...

new york is a fucking blast. someone please take me before i wither away and DIE.